


Our Chance

by istanraven



Category: Bellarke - Fandom, The 100 (TV)
Genre: Confessions, F/M, Season Finale, season six finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 10:20:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20152030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/istanraven/pseuds/istanraven
Summary: “Tell me it was worth it.” She said, desperation apparent in her words as she searched his face, trying to read whatever new expression appeared. “Please, tell me it was-”She hadn’t noticed he’d taken off his glove until she felt his hand lightly grazing her cheek, the sudden touch immediately breaking Clarke’s sentence as she looked up at him, her mouth slightly open.OR Clarke kisses Bellamy after they reunite & immediately regrets it, but not before Bellamy asks her to come with them to the anomaly where they have another very important conversation at the base of a tree. (based roughly on 6x13)





	Our Chance

She heard the cries the moment she’d she’d walked in, then saw all the bodies next. People were scattered across their once peaceful home and just like countless other times before, they had been the ones to destroy it. 

No matter how much they tried to live up to Monty’s words, they ruined everything in their wake. This wasn’t doing better, nothing they were doing was better. When would they ever learn? 

Clarke felt a light pressure on her hand and looked down to Madi trying to give her a reassuring smile, but it came out as a grimace. Madi had been through so much in the past few months, trying to control the other person in her head. It had taken everything in Clarke, it would have killed her had it not been for Bellamy. She couldn’t imagine how hard it would have been for her child. 

The pressure on her hand dropped as Madi ran off to see Jordan, her hair whipping behind her as she crashed into him. Everyone around her had started to run to their loved ones, and she began to feel a small ache in her chest as she couldn’t find a familiar face. 

God, she needed him.

And it had taken her so long to figure out why. 

The moment she’d heard his voice in her mindspace, when she’d heard the sentiment she’d given him so many years ago under that tree, she’d taken control of the situation and found herself awake, his face inches away from hers, tears in his red eyes. 

“Clarke?” He murmured, his voice faltering in question as his hand softly cradled her head, his fingers lingering on her face. 

She’d realized something then, looking up at him, what she had been feeling all these years was something more than loyalty or friendship. She hadn’t known exactly when it happened but she’d fallen in love with him. She’d fallen in love with the man leaning over her, looking down at her with so much hope in his eyes and for a moment, just one, she’d felt tempted to lean up and press her lips to his, but she stopped herself. 

She was too late.

So she let herself be wrapped up in his arms, her shaking hands gripping onto the fabric of his shirt as she tried to calm down her racing heart. She’d gripped onto him tighter as memories had come flooding through her mind like a picture show. She’d remembered the day she’d first seen him, his hair slicked back as he held firmly onto a lever, his eyes scoring her face before he’d seen his sister. She’d remembered the day he’d pushed down a lever with her, one that took so many innocent lives but saved their people’s. She would always continue to ask herself if it was worth it, if there was another way. She knew there wasn’t, and so did Bellamy. He had been by her side for so long, making her strong enough to make the difficult decisions, making her strong enough to stay alive for so long. 

As more and more memories flooded through her mind one sentiment lingered. She was stronger with him, he would always be the other part of her that she so desperately needed to be who she needed to be. He was her heart and without him she was lost, without him she wouldn’t be the woman she wanted to be. 

She had let out a breath before burying her face in his neck, her hands grasping firmer onto him as thoughts continued to manifest inside her mind. She knew he wouldn’t need her like she needed him, but in that moment it felt like he did and Clarke would take every second of it that she could receive. 

That had been days ago, but it felt like much longer, she’d seen so much pain in the last few hours she didn’t know how she was still standing, how she was even still intact.

Then for a moment, as the crowd cleared, she’d looked up, her eyes immediately meeting his warm ones and every previous notion had vanished from her mind and all she wanted in that moment, all she needed was to be held by him and only him. 

So she ran just like she ran all those years ago after mount weather and threw her arms around him, hearing the light breath escape his lips as he grasped onto her just as tightly as if he needed her in that moment as much as she needed him. 

She felt a hand lightly brush down her back and she’d felt tears come to her eyes as she pressed her face into his shoulder trying desperately to hide the look of pure relief on her face. His hands trailed down to her arms as they pulled away, their eyes flickering across each other’s faces. For a moment she thought she’d imagined the tears in his eyes, mirroring hers. 

“I heard about Abby.” He murmured, before opening his mouth again, a sentence threatening to spill out before he closed it again. 

“I tried to do better.” She’d gasped out as she barely tried to contain her anguish, this was Bellamy, she could be weak with him. “And then I lost my mom.” She barely managed to murmur, her voice choking on her words as she watched the sadness lingering in his eyes. She felt his thumb lightly brushing across her wrist in his silent form of comfort as she continued on. 

“Tell me it was worth it.” She said, desperation apparent in her words as she searched his face, trying to read whatever new expression appeared. “Please, tell me it was-”

She hadn’t noticed he’d taken off his glove until she felt his hand lightly grazing her cheek, the sudden touch immediately breaking Clarke’s sentence as she looked up at him, her mouth slightly open. 

“Hey, hey,” he murmured quietly before speaking again, “we did, we did do better. I have to believe that that matters.” There was a newfound desperation in his voice and Clarke couldn’t help but lean into his touch as his thumb softly brushed across her cheek. 

“We have another chance, we can bring peace back to Sanctum, to these people again. This is our new start, and I know,” he let out a breath before bringing his hand back down to hers, lightly grasping onto it. “I know we’ve said that far too many times, but I know this is it for us, this is our chance.”

For a moment she’d let herself get lost in his words, let herself watch the light that had entered his eyes at the idea of a second, no probably hundredth chance, for their people, for them. For a moment she’d forgotten about all the pain she’d gone through since they’d touched down on earth and then this new planet. For a moment she’d felt that she was okay because she was in his arms and that’s the only place she’s ever felt safe despite dangers lurking all around them. 

“Our chance,” she hardly whispered as she looked at their joined hands before looking back at him. Confusion lingered on his face as his brows furrowed, his lips slightly parted. 

For a moment she’d let herself be in love with the man standing in front of her and this time she didn’t stop herself as she suddenly reached forward quickly, pressing her lips firmly to his. He’d tensed under her touch, his hand suddenly gripping tighter onto her wrist before he pulled back, his hand dropping from hers as he took in a sharp breath, his eyes wide as it flickered across her face, his brows creased in concentration. 

“Clarke-” He murmured before everything suddenly crashed in on her. What was she doing? He had a girlfriend, a new family, why did she think she could kiss him, that it would mean something to him? She should have stayed on her side with Madi, she shouldn’t have let herself get wrapped into this one sided love. 

“God, I’m so sorry Bellamy.” She quickly spewed out before she walked past him, her shoulder brushing against his before she quickly walked towards Madi’s direction, her heart beating rapidly in her chest as more tears threatened to spill. 

She suddenly felt a hand grab onto her arm and she spun around and froze as she was staring right back into Bellamy’s eyes. 

“Clarke-” He’d opened his mouth as unspoken words threatened to be said before he shook his head lightly. “We’re going to the anomaly later, there’s something wrong with Octavia that we need to figure out, you should come. I uh- I want you to come.” 

She’d nodded lightly as he continued to stand in front of her, his hand still resting on her arm. He looked as if he desperately wanted to say something before he’d let out a heavy breath, dropping his hand from her arm. She’d watched as he’d walked away, the hand he touched her with was quickly shoved in his pocket. 

The sun had almost set by the time Octavia had found her, a bag slung over her shoulder as she nodded towards her. She’d excused herself from Madi, saying she’d be back soon before she’d followed Octavia through the door, the silence enveloping them quickly as they walked. It was when they’d grouped with Bellamy and Gabriel that Octavia had made them trail behind, their conversation unnoticeable by the boys as they walked ahead. 

“I saw what happened.” She’d said, Clarke could practically hear the smile in her words. 

“I’d rather not talk about it,” she said quickly, hoping to defuse the conversation before it began. 

It was silent for a few minutes before she spoke again. 

“He cares about you a lot, you know that right?” She said, her voice softer than it had been before.

“I know, but not in the way I wish he did.” She murmured, her voice sounding further off as she watched Bellamy walking up ahead, he’d turned his head for a second and their eyes met for scarcely a beat before she’d looked away. 

“That’s what you think.”

“What?” She’d questioned, surprise evident in her voice.

“I’ve never seen Bellamy break like the way I saw him break when he thought you’d died. Don’t lose hope, Clarke, you don’t know the truth yet.” 

Her words continued to ring through Clarke’s head as they’d ventured deeper into the forest, the sound of nature filled her ears as she took in a deep breath. She missed the forest when she wasn’t in imminent danger. Right now, she felt at peace despite the questions and pain pricking her heart and mind. 

The sun had almost set when they’d reached Gabriel’s tent, he’d lead them inside before taking Octavia further in, sitting her down on one of the beds before he pulled out a piece of paper and a writing utensil. Bellamy was watching them cautiously as Gabriel continue to draw the many markings covering Octavia’s back. 

Suddenly Clarke was quickly hit by racking guilt again and she quickly stepped outside desperate for a breath of fresh air. Her feet crunched the already fallen leaves as she continued walking until she found herself at the base of a large tree, she sat down before pulling her jacket off, throwing it to the side and laid her head back against the trunk and closing her eyes, letting herself relax for the first time in months. 

A few minutes had passed before she heard leaves crunching near her, her eyes flew open before she’d noticed Bellamy standing silently in front of her before looking towards the spot next to her as if asking for an invitation. She’d nodded before he’d lowered himself next to her, a light breath escaping his lips as he laid his head back. 

Silence rested between them as they sat, the only sound was the wind rustling through the leaves and animals calling into the night. Clarke had grown used to it before she’d heard his voice quietly next to her. 

“I ended things with Echo.” He murmured lightly, there was a heaviness to his words the moment he uttered them, like he knew it would change everything. 

“What?” She replied, not even trying to hide the surprise in her voice. 

“Before we left.” 

Realization began to dawn on her as she took in his words. She’d caused this with what she’d done, it was because of her that Bellamy lost Echo. Everything she touched got destroyed, why did she even try getting close to anyone anymore if she’d just end up hurting them? 

“It was my fault wasn’t it?” she suddenly voiced, “God, I’m so sorry, I acted rashly and I ruined everything. Look you can still fix things with her,” she said desperately trying to fix her mess as her eyes searching his face as she continued, “I can help.”

“I don’t want to fix things with her, Clarke.” He said firmly and Clarke’s words dropping from her lips as she looked at him. He’d expected him to look angry but he had a slight smile on his face and she felt pain in her chest as she tried to make sense of the situation. 

“But you love her, I don’t underst-,” the end of her sentence lightly trailed off as she felt his hand lightly grasp onto hers, shaking his head before looking down, his hair covering his face before he looked back up at her with glassy eyes. 

“Clarke.” He barely murmured, her name falling from his lips in a gasp. “I’ve been in love with you for the past seven years.”

For a moment every last breath of air in Clarke’s lungs vanished as she looked over at the man sitting next to her, a newfound vulnerability apparent in his features. He had broken down all his walls and Clarke could say that in that moment she’d never seen a more beautiful person. 

A tear fell down his cheek and she instinctively reached up to brush it away, her thumb lightly grassing the soft skin of his face. He’d closed his eyes as he reached up to hold onto her hand. 

“You’d told me under that tree after our little day trip when we first got to the ground that you needed me, and that I wasn’t that monster I had told myself I was for so long. In that moment I felt whole again, Clarke. I knew that from that day on I would always need you because you make me into the man I want to be.” He murmured before opening his eyes, his soft brown ones searched her face, looking for any reaction from his words. 

“Losing you when I went up to space, that was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. It ruined me, but I knew I had to move on or being without you would destroy me. So I did, with Echo, but I fooled myself with thinking that would make me forget you. Then we came down and I found out you were alive. That was the first time I’d felt happiness in six years.” She reached down now, firmly holding onto both of his hands as she continued to listen to him speak. 

“Then I almost lost you again, you died Clarke, you had no heartbeat and I felt my entire world cave in on me again just like it had six years before. But I couldn’t tell you how much you being alive meant for me because I didn’t think you’d felt the same way. I never did. So you can imagine my surprise when you kissed me today. I knew then that I couldn’t continue to lie to Echo or myself anymore, I was still as much in love with you now as I was all those years ago.”

Clarke had been rendered speechless multiple times in her life but now? Now she couldn’t even produce a coherent thought in her mind as she looked at him. It was then that he decided to lean away from the tree and sit facing her. 

“I need to know,” he started, then hesitated as the words caught in his throat. “I need to know if what I’ve said means something to you, if that kiss meant something to you.” 

Meant something to her? She started to notice the hesitation in his movements, the way he couldn’t stop moving his hand as he lightly passed his thumb over her hand over and over again. 

He was nervous.

Did he think that she didn’t feel the same way? But then again that’s how she’d felt? That this entire time, he’d only looked at her as someone who lead by his side, but she’d been the one at wrong. 

They’d been at this for far too long, seen too much pain and suffering and now at the base of this tree, they didn’t have a group of scared kids to get back to, they didn’t have suffering and pain brimming their horizon. 

They were finally at peace, and maybe now was a good time as any, because now they had their chance, now they could focus on being whole, needing each other. Not just needing to survive. 

Without another moment of hesitation, they’d done that for far too many years, she leaned over to him, pressing her lips to his in an act of desperation and he quickly kissed her back, his lips moving against hers as she felt his hand brush against her cheek before tangling in her hair. For a second they’d lost themselves in each other and distracted, Bellamy lost his balance as he’d suddenly found his back on the forest floor. She found herself laying over him, her body held up by her arms as she quickly looked back at him, a smile adorning her lips. He was looking right back up at Clarke with a glow in his eyes as he let out a laugh that Clarke swore sounded like the sweetest melody she’d ever heard. 

The smile lingered on his face as he reached up, softly brushing her hair behind her ear, his touch sending chills across her skin. 

Eventually they’d have to get back to Gabriel and Octavia, they’d soon have another problem to solve, questions to be answered, dangers lurking in the shadows. 

But for now under the canopy of the trees, as the sun slowly made its way down, casting them into the ever growing darkness of night, the two held onto each other, Clarke’s head lightly resting on Bellamy’s heart as his hand brushed lightly through her hair, her eyes looking up towards the sky as his looked down at her. They found a moment of peace, something far too absent in their lives as they began to feel whole again, the future far hopeful than it's ever been.


End file.
